Victorian Big Trip
One could write a book about the escapades and adventures that were had, but I wont, unless someone volunteers. Remember what happens on the trail stays on the trail.
Needless to say a great time was had by all riders and back up crew. We had perfect weather each day, sun shine and high teens in temperature. There was no dust as there had been a deluge the day before the start which for a change made the trails rather muddy and slippery in parts. The rivers were flowing to say the least but that is another story.
Some cryptic clues follow as to the fun that was had.
Day 1
Which 400 rider thought he was on a good thing with a certain local lass at the pub until her father turned up and took her away from the bad influences. Spoilt sport and he only had good intentions, honest injun.
Which back up driver played a few tunes on the piano and charmed the local widows. A man of many talents
Who was the rider who winched the sheeps (read on later) swag up in the trees and then it rained soaking the swag and his bedding. He was not pleased and was planning revenge for the rest of the trip. Trouble is no one admitted it and I’m not telling.
Same sheep was heard to baaa loudly during the night. Possibly in sympathy with the local possums which made a racket all night. Must be mates of the horny 400 rider.
An epic day 1 of tough riding with one rider who shall remain nameless kissing the ground in thanks when we got to camp that night
All agreed that they didn’t want to see any more erosion humps ever again. Talk about jelly legs, Tough day
Which devious rider pretended he didn’t see midnight when he ran out of petrol not 1 kilometre from camp. Seems he wasn’t the only one with temporary blindness. Tch Tch
Day 2
Is that XR on dope as it seems to smoke a lot
Ya don’t need to carry fuel (wrong)
A certain red headed rider falling absolutely in head over heels luv with Alison the barmaid at Mt Hotham (she was very cute and had the GAP)
A certain middle aged tag along admitting that he didn’t half fancy her as well.
Crusty demons for lunch
Basalt Knob track which claimed a DZR400 victim big time
Which 400 WR rider showed off for the cameras in crooked river and got very wet
The last man and you are it dash up collingrove spur hill
We will just finish the day with this small little track when we could practically taste the beers at the Dargo Pub. Who’s bright idea was that as it was the snottiest bastard of a slippery sucker with logs all over type you could get and even worse in the dark.
Midnight nearly collected his nemesis a black calf on the bitumen and it was very close to having veal on the menu that night. I mean real close!
Which backup driver who has he says an undeserved reputation for snoring got a separate room for the night c/- the cleaner. Question is did she visit in the middle of the night?
Which fearless KTM rider is scared of bats?
The DZR400 being centre of attention for the night, but it resisted all attempts at resuscitation from all the experts. There is a betting pool as to the eventual outcome.
Lights out at 10.30
Day 3
Ya don’t have to carry fuel (wrong again stone you idiot!)
Which riders homemade spanner needs a redesign.
That river looks easy to cross. Yeah right.
Who got wet up to their chest checking its depth and only a quarter away across. Hmmm think we might try another track
A 426 riders double pike with a twist over the cliff (laughed till we puked). Smartarse thought he was evil kneivel. And who’s the smartarse that goaded him into it.
What same 426 rider convinced the ride leader to turn right and not left thereby blowing away his tried and proven method of if in doubt turn left. Doh
Thank god for mobile phones and back up drivers for fuel deliveries to seldom seen places. But why did the red head in love want to play roulette at the Crown Casino?
The comment over the phone from the pub You’re fuc ing where? You have to be kidding me! No way! Well we were where we were believe it or not.
Pyro wag’s antic in getting a fire started. He must have an interesting childhood that boy.
Which backup driver was found to have not exceptionally good night vision. A marathon effort and much appreciated.
The road race down the mountain at night with the noise from 14 bikes probably frightening the hillbillies into thinking they were being invaded. A real hoot and an excellent adventure
The Ensay pub (no need to say anything else) but a shitload of booze was drunk that night. I believe we are welcolme at any time, particularly the 426 diver with the bottomless wallet. And what value for money that pub is.
Who was the 400 rider trying to have horizontal relations with the cooks apprentice. Tried to beat her at 8 ball with the old trick of pants down if she didn’t get any balls in . He didn’t! But not for lack of trying. The boy has no shame
What back up driver makes friends with the locals very easily. Ye Hah
Interesting front bar trick by one of the locals left a bad taste in the mouth
Question what is a cowboy cocksucker? Or why was Troy Dan at the pub that night?
Day 4
A bit of a slow start due to hangovers, perhaps
Which 2 stroke rider would have blown way over the limit that morning and he was leading the ride ye gods.
Mt Wong track in all its glory. What a blast and 3 times as well and she took them all on and came out on top.
Many riders I hear sampled some dirt on this track, including myself. I blame midnight for taking my line, just as I was about to come up his inside, the sneaky bugga.
Who was the WAG blocking everyone from passing. Out of control everywhere.
Which back up driver was a wee bit apprehensive about going thru the gap of a fallen tree and wimped out
The wet dream of a bus full of backpackers finally comes true.
Its amazing how riders suddenly came to life and showed an interest in their surrounds
What husky rider had a very cute English backpacker with rather large mammaries (that’s tits to you lot) ask to sit on his bike for a photo. Said rider couldn’t get her onto the seat fast enough.
Speaking of this said seat which rider (Clark Kent)was caught by the said backpackers sniffing the seat when he thought they had gone out of sight (sprung big time. Laughed till we puked)
The circus at Buchan Caravan Park as to where to camp the night. What a circus.
Which backup driver had the red wine talking late in the night about chainsaws and fallen timber, only to have no memory in the morning.
Day 5
Great tracks all day and we didn’t even have to carry fuel.
Can’t think of any highlights on this day, just great riding
What large rider added to his slim figure with a big mudcake from the bakery. Bloody guts
Oh yes just remembered. Which 520 rider got stroppy when he lent his bike to the 426 diver and couldn’t get up a little snotty little hill on the 426. Give it the berries ya mug. He was crying like a baby that he wanted his bike back. Not happy Jan.
After that I didn’t have the guts to ask for a ride on the mighty KTM as profanity offends
Who were the riders who went into Dargo just for supplies and were gone a suspiciously long time (a pub meal again?)
Day 6
Seized KTM wheel bearings held us up a bit but easily fixed. Must have been jap bearings not being compatible with fine austrian engineering.
Theres no way a car could have got that far down Conways and not rolled, Some people must be really stupid.
Who were the miscreants doing excessive wheelspin on the Kingsbury Bridge?
It was proven that XR 400’s do indeed have a rev limiter
Billy Goat Bluff track was as rough as it has ever been
Who went mining on Billy Goat and dug themselves a hole they had trouble getting out of. (thank god for electric legs)
Which rider did not follow club rules and rode back down Billy Goat.
We all get 40 ks up the road and someone asks where’s moaner. Whoops has anyone seen him. He wouldn’t have believed us and gone back down Billy Goat would he? He did! Sucked in big time.
Did any of the pranksters show any guilty conscious. NAH!
Slight delay whilst wello and Mark go back and find him wandering around like a lost sheep. And he was very sheepish when he caught up with the group
It was bloody cold on the road ride to camp.
Which 400 horny rider should consider taking up road racing
Another bloody circus as to where to camp the night. What a circus!
Day 7
Rocks Rocks and more rocks
Did the 520 rider get a little wet when filled in.
What was up with the Back up driver, not a happy chappy, perhaps understandably in the circumstances
Who is the diminutive 8 ball champion of the Jamieson Hotel. Amazing skills and let down badly by his partners
For once the snorers were in one cabin thereby letting the other cabin sleep
There was a rumour going round that a certain sheep was imitating a wombat outside the cabin in the early hours and throwing his guts up. Must have been the ouzo talking.
On the road again and home by 5 pm
Which nightrider bought a new 520 on the way home. The bastard!
A big thanks to all the riders who went and for the great times.
A special thanks to John P and Paul T for the use of their vehicles and trailers for back up.
A thanks to Burgo and Neil for backup driver duties and to Lew for the night scenic tour to Seldom Seen and for looking after the 4 wheel drives.